Family Matters
October 2008 Vol. 13 No. 3

If you think back to your own childhood, some of your fondest memories would be of celebrations. Celebrations are important because they tell us who we are; because they transmit some of our heritage; because they acknowledge religious or cultural aspects of our identity.

In Japan, Girls Day and Boys Day are celebrated with major cultural significance. (They are not Hallmark holidays!) Many cultures celebrate Name Day, not birthdays. Certainly, religious holidays are celebrated around the world with more pomp than here in the U.S.

Even though many of these traditions have been lost to our fast-paced lives, we can bring back those warm feelings from our childhood.

• Birthdays are an opportunity for celebrating. In some families, the birthday child chooses the birth day meal, from soup to nuts, including his own favorite dessert; sometimes the meal is eaten in the dining room rather than the kitchen on china rather than everyday dishes; a photo is taken, perhaps first thing in the morning, and placed in a birthday photo album; birthday cards are thoughtfully displayed in the child!s room A special book is purchased in honor of that birthday and a book plate affixed com memorating it. Some families give the child two envelopes - one with a new privilege and one with a new responsibility. Other families use the occasion to give gifts, rather than get them. A homeless shelter, retirement home, or children! s hospital might welcome a gift.

• In families with more than one child, celebrating "only child for the day" is fun. On this day, (half birth dates make it easy to remember), the child gets to have mom and/or dad all to herself. A special outing selected by the child is planned; a trip to see the dolphins at the aquarium, or the railroad museum; perhaps camping overnight would work if someone could be with the other children; lunch or dinner is enjoyed at her favorite restaurant.

• How about a picnic attended by the families of all your child!s first cousins? Do a simple family tree. Make name tags color-coded to indicate which relatives "belong together". Have everyone bring a favorite dish. Find someone to be the official photographer or videographer. Record the fun and plan to supply copies for each family. Have someone tell a story of your family history. Perhaps two or three relatives have stories to share. Plan egg throw or water balloon toss, three-legged races, family relay races. Set a date for the next "reunion".

• Family Party Day can be observed once a month or once a year. On this day, several hours are set aside to just be together at home, eating, playing games, having pillow fights, etc. Begin with wake-up on a Saturday or Sunday morning by turning on the answer ing machine so that the party is not interrupted. Breakfast is whatever the children select - peanut butter sandwiches, popcorn, Oreos and orange juice. Or homemade waffles with ice cream and strawberries. Why not? After clean-up together in the kitchen, games like Hide and Seek, Mother May I?, and Statue Maker begin and are played until the children tire of them. This will be long after you tire of them, but so what? This day is devoted to togetherness and having family fun. (A trip to the library in advance will yield books of childhood games you may have forgotten you ever played.) A mid-morning snack of frozen yogurt with sprinkles might lead then to card games - Old Maid, Crazy Eights, Go Fish, played just for fun. Doesn!t matter who wins or even if there is a winner. After lunch, either at home or out, the family party ends usually with everyone asking when the next one will be.

Part of the fun is in the planning and in the anticipation. Start a list of things you!ll need; have everyone add to it. Keep it posted on the "fridge. Keep a list of possible outing destinations. Start a folder of newspaper clipings about special places. Mark off the days on the calendar. Talk about it often. But, the important thing is to celebrate - your life, your family, your child. You're all worth it.